Not Myself

I've sat here for a few minutes trying to write a blog post because I can't seem to sleep although I feel tired. I'm not sure if this is a physical, mental or emotional tiredness - I guess it's not mental, because although I'm tired, I can't even rest because my brain is overactively thinking negative thoughts.

I'm sorry for not posting for the past few weeks. I have no excuse except to plead exhaustion, which is possibly stress-related.

My last day at work at the travel mag was 6th June. It was fairly hurried and anticlimatic, but I didn't mind. Wanted to leave as quietly as possible. I went in the next day to collect my stuff and clear my ex-PC. Said farewells to about half of the people in the office, and all the ones that matter to me. I'll miss my fellow writers, ed and the usual lunch gang.

What have I been doing since then? Resting and trying to sort out stuff for my trip to Sweden. There's been more stress about that (finance- and time-related), but I think it is mostly settled now.

Should be relaxed and relieved because things are working out, but there's a mild depression hovering over me, for some odd, complex reason. Yes, I know I'm being vague.

Could it be partly (mostly) because I miss F? It'll be lovely to see his family again. I've seen so many nice visiting gifts I'd like to get for them but sadly my budget doesn't permit me to get most of the stuff.

In Siryn's bellydance news:

• There will be a women-only hafla in Mont Kiara on 19th June, in the evening, with performances (bellydancing, capoeira, flamenco), dancing, dressing up, food and drink. Sadly I won't be able to make it, but if anyone reading this is interested, do contact me.
  
• Am hoping to order and get a shipment of tribal costume supplies (shells, studs, etc) from Thailand before I fly.. can't wait to start making my costume!
  
• Also waiting for images of bellydance coins from Mo's friend so I can decide what I'd prefer..
  
• Bought far too much jewellery and other stuff for the dance this month due to the 9(?)-day-long Indian cultural fair in Midvalley. Got some real bargains and overpaid for some things, but all in all I'd say that there is some really great stuff there. Too bad my budget is so tight atm. :-/
  
• Bought far too much chunky yarn from Macy's, in a riot of colours, to make tribal tassels. Completed my third tassel already; I rather like my first, ultra-fat tassel, but mom thinks it's 'huge', so I caved to pressure and made the subsequent two smaller. Maybe should ask WY and S which size is better.
  
• I don't think it's a crime to use whatever's readily available to make a dance costume, especially if it's for tribal. For example, I'm sure the shells from shellfish that are easily found here (such as la-la, si ham, balitong, etc) would make great accents for our costumes too. Sure, the idea doesn't seem glamorous, but I think these shells are almost as nice as cowries, which are de rigeur in tribal bellydance costuming. Sigh. Maybe I'm just frustrated that it's so hard for us to get ahold of cowries atm.
  
• Learning 2 spiffy new choreographies that make excellent, sweat-inducing, vigorous workouts. I think I was born to be a bellydancer; it never fails to make me feel good.

There. Just writing that makes me feel a little better already. Cross your fingers and toes, maybe I'll manage to muster the energy to write another post very soon.